[November 3, 2001]

I got my car back today!

*does a little happy dance*

Didn't cost me as much as I thought either... only $1164.56.

Only.

*cough*

But it's back, and it's running better than before... they decided to replace the timing belt while they were in there. How nice of them.

So yeah, I'm mobile again, and earlier than I expected. It's the small victories, I guess.

[November 2, 2001]

car: 'kär n.
1: the passenger compartment of an elevator
2: the part of an airship of balloon that carries the passengers and cargo
3: a mechanical device for converting vast sums of money into brief bouts of mobility.

So yeah, I'm pissed.

Yesterday I'm in Brantford, and I'm cruising along, and I notice there's not a lot of heat coming out of the vents... so I check the engine temp.

Red.

That's bad.

Not wanting to fuck anything up further, I pull into the next driveway. I turn off the car and look under the front end.

Puddle of green.

That's coolant. Also bad.

That night was the first time I ever got to ride in a tow truck.

So I take it to the Canadian Tire, they look at it, and tell me I need to replace the gaskets on the water pump. $200, and I can't get the car back until the next day. Okay, I can deal with that.

So I haven't heard from them by 4:00 today, and I give them a call. Good news and bad news. The good news is that they've replaced the gaskets on the water pump. The bad news is that I also blew out my head gasket.

For those of you that don't know what a head gasket is, neither do I. But apparently they're about $1300 to replace.

$1300 that I don't have.

Bugger.

Seeing as I won't be driving anywhere this weekend, I think I'm gonna go drink heavily.

[September 1, 2001]

She's happy again.

This is good. It means I'm free to try to be happy again.

[August 21, 2001]

I want to be in Seattle right now.

[February 18, 2001]

It's funny how little things can trigger a memory...

Today, for instance, I was listening to "Fire Water Burn" by the Bloodhound Gang, and I suddenly got this insane longing for summer.

It's been a fucking long winter.

I think it's the smell that I missed... the smell of downtown Hamilton at night in the summer... the kind of night where I could be hanging out downtown at friend's apartment, and decide to go home at 2 in the morning, and it was okay, because it was still nice enough that I could put on my trenchcoat and just walk.

The air has that sort of humidity to it, but it's not like a hot and sticky humid... at night, it's so much more cooling and comforting...

And the smell...

I think it's more of what the smell reminds me of though... back when my life made a little sense.

I could be out walking after work, and in no hurry to get inside out of the cold... I'd run into Ben and head back to his apartment. Put on some tunes, watch some TV, maybe smoke a joint...

Then I could head out and wander around a bit, usually ending up at the ISP Cafe... say "hi" to the guys on the night shift and grab a coffee and a computer... chat for a while... if I was lucky I might catch Heather online and talk to her for a while... before Ryan started throwing his tantrums.

I miss those days...

I suppose it was blissful ignorance in a way... I know a lot more now than I did then, but am I any better for it? I like to think so, but it's very tiring... this winter is just dragging on and on...

I need some more summer nights.

[January 14, 2001]

That woman has a real knack for confusing me.

[January 7, 2001]

What changed?

I'm exactly where I was this time last year... hell, I suppose that technically, I'm even a little further ahead.

So why do I feel so incomplete?

It's true. Ignorance is bliss.